He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
