U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
