And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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