so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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