He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
