why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
