If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
