How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
