I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
