Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
