Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
