what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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