oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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