By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
