How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
