omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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