I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
