Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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