He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
