i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
