Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
