i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
