i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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