They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
