This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
