it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize