Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
