Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
