Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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