I wish I could teleport
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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