The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
