there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
