My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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