I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
