I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
