problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
