I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
