She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
