are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
