how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
