She's JV to your varsity
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
