I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
