have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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