You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
