In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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