Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
