People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
