it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
