Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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