ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
