How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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